Kay and the closet

Kay says that I snore. Now I cannot with any degree of certainty confirm or refute this allegation. See, I don’t stay awake to find out one way or the other. But this incident rather strongly suggest that I may.

See, I have been suffering from a cold for the last several days. I suppose that this may have had an effect on my breathing that night. At any rate, we went to bed at our usual time. I zonked out almost immediately. Sometime later, I awoke realizing that Kay was not lying in the bed beside me. Occasionally she has issues getting to sleep and rarely manages to nod off before I do. If I snore, I suppose that she would be the one who would know for certain. At any rate, I awoke, realizing that she wasn’t there. I decided that I needed to check on her to see if she was alright. While I was arousing my witts, (you know how it is when you wake up from a deep sleep, and need to spend a second or two to get the cobwebs out), well I realized that the light indicating that I had messages was flashing on my cell phone. Well in today’s society, what does one do when the cell phone indicates that there are messages? One listens to the messages, right? One might also add that 1:30 am is a rather strange time to listen to voice mail messages, but that is what I was doing. (It isn't really all that strange, is it?) Suddenly I heard this rather sheepish little voice come from what I thought was the throne room in our bath area. “Larry, who are you talking to?” I acknowledged that I was listening to my messages. Then, realizing that the voice I had heard did not come from the throne room, I asked, “Kay where are you?” Now here comes the part that I laugh about every time I think of it. She said, “I’m in the closet.” Now the lights were off so it was obvious that she wasn’t looking over her wardrobe for the clothes that she was wearing the next day. I have to admit there were several thoughts going through my mind at that time. The most significant of which I verbalized, “Kay, what in the world are you doing in the closet at 1:30 in the morning” Answer, “I’m trying to sleep.” New thought, “Kay why are you trying to sleep in the closet?” Answer, “You were snoring so much that I couldn’t get to sleep.” (I have to admit that my initial thought processes included denying that I snore but elected to with hold that bit of information.) New thought, “Kay, what are you covering up with?” Answer, “A towel.” New thought, “Kay, why didn’t you just poke me in the ribs and tell me to stop snoring?” Answer, “I didn’t want to wake you up” Now how thoughtful is that. But a towel on the floor of the closet at 1:30 in the morning? Do you see why this struck me as funny?”

Now I am not admitting that I snore. But If I do, Kay, next time try poking me and asking me to stop. No more of this in the closet, covering up with a towel in the wee hours of the morning to avoid the noise. OK? For her version, click here.

I didn't mean to swim on Sunday

It has been 15 years since I moved into this house. 15 years with a pool in the back yard. 15 years of maintaining the pool, putting a cover on from time to time, cleaning, vacuuming, brushing and etc. 15 years of doing that and not once have I fallen into the pool while doing so. Not once, that is …… until today.

See a few weeks ago we purchased a pool cover. It had been a couple of years since we had one of these things and knowing that the cover will help hold in the heat, we figured that we could perhaps use the pool somewhat longer with a pool cover. However. removing and replacing the cover is a bit of a challenge. It is a piece of cake with 4 people but a significant challenge for a single person. Well, last week we added to our collection of pool equipment, a roller device that rolls the cover up. One person can easily remove the cover, so doesn’t it seem natural that one person can easily replace it. ………NOT. Today, I made an effort to do so. Not only did the device not unroll , but it tipped over. Special Kay came to my rescue. And between the two of us we almost got the cover on, ……. almost before I fell in. Yes, I fell into the pool, fully clothed. I found myself suddenly without firm footing for my left foot.. not only that but I found that my faith is not sufficiently strong, and the water failed to support my weight. Yes the water parted and accepted me into the depths thereof. Flailing my arms, trying to regain balance, all to no avail. I found my thought process going something like this, “Oh Dang, I am going to fall into the pool. (and if you believe I said dang, you don’t know me all that well)” Yep, my daddy didn’t raise no dummies. I realized that when there was no more footing and my arms were flailing and I didn’t regain my balance, I was going to fall into the pool.

After 15 years of cleaning and maintaining that stupid pool, you would think that I would be aware of the area where the pool juts out to allow for a seat in the side of the pool. Right at this point the wall of the pool juts out about 1 foot. I have sat there, I have cleaned it, I have put my grandkids there. You would think that I would realize that it was there. But no, I tried to walk right over it.

Did you ever try to laugh while under water. Well, that doesn’t work very well either, I know I have tried. As I came back out of the water, I realized what a compassionate wife I have. Yes, Kay was shedding tears in my behalf. The fact that she was laughing so hard that she couldn’t control the tears is of secondary importance. She was shedding tears in my behalf. Thanks Kay, you really are compassionate after all. And it is alright for everyone to laugh about this. I have done so virtually all day. Every time I think about it I break out laughing. Every time I look at Kay, she breaks out in laughter. So laugh with us. It is OK. I will just have to walk forward the next time I put the stupid pool cover on.